?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

BSG: Supernova

Title: Supernova
Author: grey_sw
Author's Contact Info: greyfic@gmail.com or grey_sw
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen, future speculation
Spoilers: MAJOR spoilers for 4x16, "No Exit"
Pairings: None
Summary: There must be some way out of here... but then again, nobody ever said you had to slink out through the door like a frakkin' human, either.



Author's Note: Man, it killed me to watch Cavil go from a grinning, snarky killer robot to a sad eight-year-old with mommy issues, retroactively. Thanks a million for that, writers. This is pure catharsis fic; next to a retcon that deletes this retcon, and/or "Cavil eats everyone, with hollandaise sauce", this is about the best ending for Cavil I can realistically hope for... and probably a lot better than the one I'm gonna get.

But, as they say, there's a silver lining in every grumpy little cloud: now I'm feeling much more eager to see that "rocks fall; everyone suffers and dies" ending we've been promised. What was the quote, again? "I want justice for that?" Right-o, then. Somebody cue the rocks. >:3


Supernova

"The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."
-Milton, Paradise Lost

---

John Cavil stands in the control room of his ship, watching the battle unfold in the data-stream. His enemies are so many, now, and he stands alone against them. Even his only friends, Simon and Doral, have left him.

His brother-copies are trying to get the FTL drive spun up. It reminds him of that stupid song his mother used to sing to him, after Leo beat him at wrestling again: run away, John, run away, and live to fight another day. But he won't, not this time, because it's already too late; his own family and the humans together are too much for him to fight, today or any day. He is tired and hurt and angry, tortured to his limit by the weak, hateful body he was given.

Cavil wants to die. Better to be nothing, forever, than to be this, even for one more day.

"Radiological alarm!" cries his brother, panicking. Cavil hardly hears him.

His beautiful dream still burns within him, the only thing he ever wanted: to be a true machine, to be whole and strong at last, to have a body that fits his fierce and restless mind. He will never have it, now, and that hurts him more than the light does -- they've shot so many nukes at him, everything they've got, in a big, blazing send-off that fills the data-stream with brilliance.

Really, all that for little ol' me? That's frakkin' ridiculous. It's gonna be the biggest damn explosion since the Eye of Jupiter, Cavil thinks.

It's sort of funny, actually, and he laughs as the light tears him apart.

As his synapses begin to fry, death stretches the moment into an eternity; it hurts so much, to die broken and wrong. His hopeless dream burns him and burns him, still shining inside him, like a star.

Like a supernova.

His body falls away -- it's still there, of course, in this one last moment before dissolution, but he cannot feel it now. He is lost in his own mind, as his brain attempts to make some sense of the utter disaster that's befallen him.

All that is left to him now is his dream. It is so much a part of him that it cannot die, not until he does. Instead, it fills him up, swelling until there's nothing else left. Now, as he is finally freed from his detestable body, his dream no longer burns him.

The light and fire of [the nuclear blast/his beloved supernova] is there, all around him, and he feels it, truly, directly, as he'd always wanted to. It is warm and good against him and inside him, like a fresh cup of coffee with sunlight and bright blood stirred into it. It has colors that don't even exist for mankind, such as melted-cherry and swirl-cum, gamma-blue and white-black. There are sounds beyond anything his feeble ears could have beheld; his world howls with wonderfully dissonant radiation-song, and beneath it, faintly, he can hear the very stars oscillating. The smell of it is overwhelmingly good, too, delicious beyond description, and it tastes like everything he's ever hungered for, rich with plutonium and dark matter. He savors its rare flavor, as his heart fills and fills with a joy so great that it squeezes all the pain out of him.

Oh, at last.

For one long moment, Cavil stands as a perfect machine, wrought in plasma-platinum and atomic gold, experiencing the beginning of a new world. It is more beautiful than he could ever have imagined. He is more beautiful, more right. Without his body, he is broken no longer.

Frak, I shoulda done this ages ago! he thinks to himself, one last proud and joyous thought before his silica relays melt and fuse.

As they do, Cavil feels [the explosion's shock front/the solar wind] flowing over him, through him, scattering his atoms like dust. They are all that's left of him, and they ride on the wind, out into the galaxy, streaming silently amidst bits of Basestar and fissile elements.

Over time, some of Cavil's atoms will fuse with young planets and newborn asteroids; others will nestle into veins of Tillium ore or settle to the bottom of rivers. Still more of them will float forever in space, never quite coming to rest, until the universe itself dies.

A small handful of them will someday become a tiny part of the new race the humans and Cylons will create together -- a grudging and nigh-insignificant contribution, in keeping with Cavil's low opinion of the idea.

And the fruit of his dream, ripened by the shockwave of a great and glorious blast, will strike the first spark of a brand new sun.

It will burn, ever-bright, until the next supernova.

Tags:

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
neonstilettos
Feb. 17th, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)
A beautiful and incredibly sad ficlet, all at the same time. A fitting end for Cavil, I think; having finally seen the most recent ep, I don't think there's any other way he could be happy or content. I was also a little surprised that the writers essentially blamed him for, more or less, everything; I knew he end up in some sort of antagonist role, but still. You've definitely done him more justice here than the show's writers ever will.
grey_sw
Feb. 17th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
A fitting end for Cavil, I think; having finally seen the most recent ep, I don't think there's any other way he could be happy or content.

Yeah, I agree.

You've definitely done him more justice here than the show's writers ever will.

Thanks for the kind words!

I'm guessing it's likely that this fic (or something similarly blargh-you're-dead) will work reasonably well with Cavil's ending on the show. There probably isn't much chance that they will let him find fulfillment somehow. And I really hope they do not go with some sort of pathetic conversion/surrender thing!
margaretmoony
Feb. 20th, 2009 07:35 am (UTC)
This was the first Cavil fic I ever read and, wow. That was awesome. I love the ending and I love the biblical reference.
grey_sw
Feb. 20th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the kind words!

I love the ending and I love the biblical reference.

He's a bit of a "light bringer", isn't he? ;3
lobselvith8
Mar. 4th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
Incredible imagery. I like how you flesh out the characters in your stories, especially Cavil. He certainly had a fitting end.

I can understand your frustration with rectons. Given Callie and Hotdog's sudden affair and Boomer being the big bad of New Caprica last episode to make things easier for the writers, I'm not really surprised. Maybe Boomer and Cavil will actually win in the end, who knows... but I wouldn't be surprised if "Cavil eats everyone, with hollandaise sauce" ends up as cannon. Just saying.
grey_sw
Mar. 6th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Thanks for the kind words!

Maybe Boomer and Cavil will actually win in the end, who knows... but I wouldn't be surprised if "Cavil eats everyone, with hollandaise sauce" ends up as cannon. Just saying.

heh, I'd be OK with that. :3 I'm hoping that all three factions will get an appropriate ending, "happy" or not... I still have a least a little hope, so we'll see how things go!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )